Everything is not okay
by NeoCortex
Summary: Sam attempts to off himself and Jessica finds him. She calls John only to have to call Dean. What happens when Dean comes back?  Rated M for hinted WINCEST, attempted suicide, and language. If you don't like, do read.


**_I got the idea for this story from Badmoonrising's 'Please Don't Do This.' For those of you that haven't read it, you should. I love it. Even if it did make me cry like a baby. XD Anywho..._**

**_Sam attempts to off himself and Jessica finds him. She calls John only to have to call Dean. What happens when Dean comes back?_**

**____****Rated M for hinted WINCEST, attempted suicide, and language. If you don't like, do read.**

**__****_I in no way own Sam and Dean Winchester...or Jessica...They are the property of Eric Kripke and the CW. I just borrow them for my own pleasure and amusements...and your's..._**

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She was crying hard now. Tears streamed down her face as she yanked his cell phone from his jacket pocket. She had called 911 already and they were on their way. A friend of theirs stood outside waiting for the EMTs and she was kneeling beside his body with his BlackBerry in her hand scrolling through his numbers. She got to the contanct that read '_Dad_' and hit send. The number took her to a voicemail that redirected her to another number. _Sam had a brother?_ She shook her head as she commited the number to memory then hung up and dialed it. A groggy voice answered, _**"Hello?"**_ She faltered for a second, "D-dean? I'm sorry, but...Sam needs help. Bad." She heard rustling on the other end, _**"Sammy? What happened? Is he alive? Is he okay?"**_ She bit her bottom lip and whimpered, "He's alive, but just barely." She heard the male give a near panicked reply before she was hung up on. Jessica didn't dwell on that as the EMT unit was now here and placing her pale boyfriend on a gurny and stowing him into the amublance.

The one known as Dean had called again to find out what hospital she was at and then he was there about thirty minutes later. "Are you Dean?" She asked hesitantly as a blonde male in a brown leather jacket, white teeshirt, green overshirt, worn jeans and work boots walked in looking wild eyed and paniky. He didn't like hospitals. She could see it all over his face. "Yeah. Sammy?" his voice was gravely and husky. "He's in OR now. They're stitching him up and giving him blood." He frowned and looked down at her, eyes full of questions. "I found him on the floor of our apartment, wrists slit, and a knife in his side. Bleeding out." She whimpered and looked down at the phone she was clutching. It was Sam's. "I don't want to believe it, but the doctor said it looked like an attempted suicide. They say he'll live." She heard him move his shoulder, "I'm Jessica by the way, I'm his girlfriend. I think." She whispered the last part. "I'm Dean." She was surprised when his hand came up to her shoulder and he lead her to a chair and sat beside her. "Why do you say that you think?" He asked her softly. Her eyes came up to look at him, they sparkled with unshed tears, "We've been arguing a lot lately. He kept saying strange things. Something about me only replacing what mattered and not being enough." She bit down on her bottom lip and let the damn break as tears streaked down her cheeks.

Dean was never good with tears. Never. But this was a bit different. He frowned and wrapped his arms around the poor girl and hugged her. "I'm sorry. He always was a bit overdramatic." His words were supposed to be a joke but they tasted bitter on his own tongue. She pulled back a bit and looked up at Dean, "You're the one huh?" Her eyes were still filled with tears and they were still falling as he sighed, "No." She raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm his brother Jessica. So no. I'm not the one." _Not anymore._ He had made that vow when he pushed Sam away for the second time. Her words next made him feel a bit guilty, "Sometimes, love has no boundaries." She looked up as a doctor walked up to her. Dean watched her stand and speak with the man. After a moment the weary man turned to speak to Dean. Dean didn't hear the man until Jessica's hand came to rest on his shoulder, "Uh...Sorry. What?"

"You're Sam's brother?"

"Yes, Sir." The doctor nodded and told him that Sam was in ICU and they could see him for a few minutes but that Sam needed to rest. Dean gave a nod and he and Jessica followed the man.

He looked so small. So lifeless. So pale. He steeled himself even as his heart started to break. The walls he had built had come crumbling down when he had heard a tremmbling female voice on Sam's phone earlier. _'Sam needs help. Bad. ...He's alive. ...Barely.'_ His brother was hurt. Dean watched as Jessica went to Sam's bedside. He was very glad that she went to the side that didn't face the door. So Sam would have to look away from him when he woke up. He didn't think he could take the hurt he knew he'd see there. "Sam? Honey? I'm here." Jessica's voice was soothing and calm and it even seemed to calm Dean down some. "Sam, its me, Jess." Sam's eyelids fluttered open and he looked over in the direction Jessica was, but apparently wasn't seeing her. Or hearing her more over, because the first word out of his mouth? "Dean..." The male in question watched as Jessica's face puckered and her eyes closed then her mouth fell into a frown. Dean shook his head and bit back a whimper. Jessica looked up at him now. The look on her face though wasn't of anger. Nor of hatred. Not even betrayal. It was more a look of, 'I told you so.' It was almost enough to make Dean laugh. Almost. Sam seemed to come around a bit better now for he looked properly at Jessica. "Jess?" She looked from Dean to him now and she nodded, "Dean's here too." She said before the blonde male had a chance to slip away unnoticed. Hazel eyes tracked the room and found him moments later. "Dean?" Was the boy only able to form one word phrases at the moment?

He could feel his heart break as his face crumpled and tears fell heavily. "Dean..." He moaned and turned his face away and closed his eyes hard. Seeing Dean standing there, so impassive, was enough to bring all the pain back. Even through the morphine drip haze. Jessica's soothing voice and a cool hand on his forehead had him opening his eyes to look at her. "Sam, its okay. Calm down Sam." Her soft voice had him whimpering in guilt. "I'm sorry Jessica." She nodded, "I know Sam. I'm not him. I can't replace him. I can't replace someone that knows you better than even you know yourself." How could she be so understanding? He watched as she looked up from him and knew her eyes looked past him to Dean in the door way. "Love has no boundaries." She turned her gaze back to him now. "You love your brother and I know he loves you. Otherwise he wouldn't have been here in less than fourty five minutes." Sam frowned and looked over at Dean. "Guilty as charged." The elder muttered dully. Jess sighed, "Look Sam, I know why you did it, I even understand." She looked between the two of them now, "But you need to face the issues. Not run from them." Sam frowned more and felt his bottom lip tremble. Why was she so damned understanding! He kind of wanted her to yell at him. "I'm gonna go get some coffee, I'll be right back." He watched her rise and felt the press of her lips on his forehead before she left the room. When she was gone and the door clicked closed an explosion started.

"WHAT THE HELL SAMMY!" Dean watched the other flinch, "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE! I UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVE PROBLEMS AND THAT I HURT YOU! BUT IF SHIT WAS THAT DAMNED BAD YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST HINTED BETTER AND NOT LEFT LITTLE SHIT MESSAGES ON MY PHONE TELLING ME ALL'S OKAY HERE! YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR! GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON TO NOT HURT YOU!" Dean watched again as Sam flinched at his words. Sam took several shaky breaths before Dean had to watch another damn break for the second time that night.

"Because I still love you Dean." The words were thick through the tears but he continued on, "When you didn't answer the phone this time I thought-" He stammered and cried harder, "You usually answer every once in a while-" Sam gagged on his words. "W-when you didn't answer tonight I thought- I'm sorry Dean! I'm so sorry!" He didn't feel the bed dip and he didn't know he was being moved until Dean was in the bed with him and he was being forced to curl up on the other's chest. Sam may be taller but he could still curl up on Dean when the need arose. And now was one of those such moments. He curled up on his brother and clung to him while he cried until he made himself gag again. "Shh Sammy, it'll be okay, I'm right here." He heard Dean whisper above his head. He then began to listen as Dean explained.

"If I had heard the phone Sammy, I would have answered." He lifted a hand and began to run it lightly over Sam's hair as he stared off at the wall ahead. "I didn't answer tonight, not because I was done with you, but because I was asleep. When Jessica called I had woken up from a nightmare only to pick up the phone and be told by some terrified girl that my nightmare was about to come true." Dean frowned at the wall and his hand faltered on Sam's hair, "I was so scared Sammy. I got pulled over on the way..." He let out a strangled sound halfway between a laugh and a gag, "The cop took one look at my face asked me what was wrong and escorted me here personally." He felt his chest tighten, "I'd have died without you Sam." True what he had been doing wasn't exactly living to begin with, but at least Sam was alive. He knew that by the way the phone rang every so often. "If you weren't on this planet Sammy, I'd...I'd die. I'd never make it through a day." Sam's shaking had subsided but Dean could hear the sniffled and the occasional sob as his hand picked back up its soft movement over Sam's hair. "At least when we were apart, I knew you were alive and was able to make it through a day at a time." Again, not exactly living...

This was how Jessica saw them as she quietly opened the door. Sam, tall, lanky, Sam, curled up along his brother's frame. A hand clutching at his shirt. A cheek pressed firmly to Dean's chest. Closed eyes leaking tears still and the other male not seeming to care his shirt was getting wet as one armed was curled around the injured male and the hand of the other arm moving over Sam's auburn hair. She stepped into the room now and cleared her throat to announce her pressance. When neither jumped but just looked over to her she gave a soft smile. Dean's eyes were tight around the corners and the green was bright with what looked like fear. Sam's hazel were wide in fear, the pupils nothing more than black pin pricks in the multihued irises. "I'm back now," She held up two bottles of Soda, "They had shit selections for coffee, so I got Root Beer." She placed one on the bedside table for Dean and opened the other for herself. Dean gave a grunt by way of thanks as he reached over for the tabled bottle. "I ran into Sam's doctor out there. He said Sam should be okay to go home tomorrow after noon." Sam looked from her up to Dean and Jessica watched his bottom lip tremble slightly. She couldn't see the look in his eyes but she did see Dean's when he spoke, "You don't have to go back to the apartment Sammy, you can stay with me till its all cleaned up." Jessica gave Dean a slight nod when he looked at her briefly. Her phone went off in her pocket. Pulling it out she realized it wasn't her's, but Sam's. "Oh, I forgot, I have your phone Sam." She looked at the caller ID, "You have a text from your Dad." She stood up and took the phone over to them. Showing it to Sam and Dean she let the phone go when Dean's fingers curled around it. "I called him first when I found Sam. I got his voicemail and it said to call you." Dean's look of confusion melted away with a nod. "Ah. Okay." He pulled his own phone out for a moment then slid it away again.

Dean looked at the message and read it for Sam, "Dad's just askin if you're okay. Wanted to know what was up since you called so late." Dean frowned when Sam's face puckered signalling he was about to cry again. "It's all right Sammy, we don't have to tell him what happened. I'll improvise." He promised. As he finished this sentence the doctor walked in. "I'm sorry you guys, but Sam needs to sleep now. It's time for you both to go now."

The doctor watched as the blonde male made to move at his words then stopped when Sam whimpered and tightened his fingers in the white shirt the male was wearing. Doctor Weston walked in and walked to the bed. "Sam? Are you in pain?" he checked the drip the young man was connected to. "Only if you make him leave." The doctor frowned again and looked down at Sam, "What?" Sam's answer had him sighing, "I'm only in pain if you make him leave." Weston looked at the one Sam was clinging to, "He needs to get some sleep," The man nodded, "I know, and he will, just..." He paused and looked down at the brother in his arms, "I don't think me leaving him now is a good idea." With another sigh the doctor nodded, "Alright, but you missy, have to go." The blonde girl nodded and turned to the duo, "Max is in the waiting room, I'll see you tomorrow Sam." This was how Doctor Weston left them.

"Jess." She turned back at Sam's voice, "I'm sorry Jess." Her eyes softened more, "It's okay Sam, I'm not mad. I still love you. And I always will. No matter what." She gave a soft smile when he nodded. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead again she smiled a bit more, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Dean was highly surprised when she turned to him and kissed his forehead as well. "It was good to meet you Dean, see you tomorrow." He swallowed the lump in his throat when he couldn't speak and nodded. When she got to the door he choked out, "Thank you." She turned to look at him in confusion, "For taking care of him. And for calling me. Even if it was only because you couldn't get our dad." Jess nodded, "You're welcome Dean. Now make him get some sleep." The tiny little blonde pointed at Sam and waved goodbye to Dean as she walked out of the room, leaving Dean with a tall, injured Sam Winchester clinging to his shirt like a lifeline.

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_**A/N Please R&R. I am fighting with myself on whether or not I should write more for this one or just make a sequel to it. So for the time being, it is complete. Please, I would love some opinions on it. Should I make more in the set or leave as is?**_


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